Jet To No Where

Help me find out if I am on a Jet To No where…or just on stand by.

“Realization is one of the most difficult acheivements” ~ Erich Fromme

by Alex Senape Vader on Monday, November 8, 2010 at 1:42pm

Is sad that is took me so long to realize that my body does not function like everyone else. Th common cold puts me in bed for a week. Stress makes me vomit and the flu puts me in the hospital. If I make a promise, I keep it, but if it comes at a price of my health, I cannot. I look and feel (most of the time) normal, but I am not. I will need a heart transplant one day and until that day I am cannot pretend I a Superwoman, Super-wife, Supermom or Super-friend any longer. I don’t like this realization, but I have to accept it. I wish others could accept it and I understand that it is not that I do not want to do something that I promised, it is that I CANNOT do it.

I try my best to stay true to my word, but I am no good to anyone, especially my children, if I am too sick to do anything. I have to start putting myself first and I will not apologize for that. I wish the people who say they love me and are family here would understand all of this, but unless someone has had a life changing health issue, no one could possibly understand. No one will ever truly know what Ted has been through or what I have been through with our health.

It saddens me….it hurts me…I do not want to hurt anyone, but I cannot be what I thought I could any longer. I cannot do it all…I wish I could. It is entirely 100% true….if you don’t have your health, you have nothing. I do have Ted and my children who truly understand all of this…. because we have been through it all together.

I always thought that admitting ones weaknesses was admitting one was fragile or not strong.  It is not. It is human.

I now realize that I am weak to a certain extent. I cry as I write this, but it is because I feel sad for the promises I cannot keep….but it saddens me even more deeply that people called family cannot understand this. I needed only to explain this one person, and I hope she understands. I thought she did….and I hope she can understand.

 Now, I have to take care of myself….I have to do this for my family, my children most of all.  I have to remove myself from all things that have an impact on my health.

 Anyone who truly loves and cares for me will understand without a word.

 Others who cannot or will not understand…..then I know I made the right choice.

“To preserve health is a moral and religious duty, for health is the basis of all social virtues. We can no longer be useful when we are not well.” ~ Samuel Johnson quotes (English Poet, Critic and Writer. 1709-1784)

 “Before healing others, heal yourself” ~Indira Gandhi

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U. S. Government

An Excerpt from my U. S. Government class on the fundamental concept of Freedom:

In short, there is a fundamental agreement amongst most of the citizens of the United States in the importance of individual freedom. What we don’t agree upon is what that means in specific, concrete instances. Should a citizen be allowed to burn a US flag in a public place? Should a high-school student be allowed to sit down while everyone else in her public school stands up and pledges allegiance to the flag? Should a seventeen-year-old be free to send and receive pornographic materials over the Internet? As the saying goes, the devil is in the details.

And speaking of details, I find it appropriate to state here that our country started out with a large segment of our population in slavery. There wasn’t much freedom for them. Even after slavery was officially abolished, real economic and political freedom for much of our black population remained an unfulfilled promise until the last generation. Even now, the prejudices that we’ve inherited from our past have not been totally eliminated.

It is also appropriate to mention that the original native population of the United States was not given much freedom. Most were killed or herded onto reservations.

Finally, women were not afforded real economic or political freedom in most of the United States until the twentieth century.

Wow…..I don’t see any mention of the “whites” taking land from the Mexicans…..weird.

Illegal Immigration….Part Dos

Rebuttal and my Response Follows:

From: alicia bobulinski <aliciabobulinski@yahoo.com>
To: Alex Senape <alx0320@yahoo.com>
Cc: Kelly Wildinge <kelly.wilding@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, April 27, 2010 12:45:17 AM
Subject: Show me your

Alex, I am sorry you feel that way.
When the people from England came here, just as the new immigrants are coming here, they also are looking for a better life.  The English however felt they discovered an new land, I think the Native Americans were not looking to be discovered.  The English didn’t bother to learn their language they just proceeded to massacre and lie to them.  But hey the strongest survive.  The Mexicans as we are now called then some were married to the Indians, but the English said we were savages just as the English said about the Africans that were brought here.  The English people justified the slaughter, the cruelty the inhumane treatment of the non-white by saying that they (English) are better than the other people of color.
The new wave of immigrants came here and if they were healthy they could stay, there was no legal or illegal to it.  Every new wave of immigrants by the third generation have forgotten their original language.  There are many Latinos who no longer know how to speak Spanish.  The Cubans are a little different, because of the political understanding between the U.S. , and Cuba, they just have to touch the U.S. Solid and they are parolees for a year.  Then they begin the process to become citizens if they want to.  So get angry at this government for their agreement with Cuba.  Maybe they know they  really messed the poor people up. 
Remember that 1/3  of this country was Mexico’s, which in part was won and in part was stolen.  The “Americans” were really Mexicans because they had taken an oath to be Mexicans so that land could be given to them.  So these English traitors turned on their country, but this must be ok, because it seems that the English like to lie as they did to the Indians.  After the Treaty of Guadalupe was signed it was rewritten to suit the English, but this must be ok, right, sort of like Bush/Chenney did with the Patriot Act.
There had never been a legal or illegal status to coming into this country.  Papers were only asked for around 1948.  It is not breaking a crime to come here with out papers, it is a civil offense.  But why would you know that.  The asking of papers was in part because the U.S. Government said that the Mexicans were raping the white women and bringing in Marijuana.  Marijuana after all is just so horrible, as we know, because the “white” man said so, right Alex.
Now the U.S. Government knew about this recent influx of immigrants because they conducted a study before they passed NAFTA.  It knew the people would lose their ability to work as they had done for generations, they knew people would go hungry, but hey the RICH don’t care.  NAFTA/CAFTA has only hurt the common man and the RICH get richer.  Maybe you should read a little more about the history of this land.  This land is no ones it belongs to God, we are only stewards while we live.
The majority of the undocumented pay taxes with their I-TIN # but get nothing back.  Even if you are a green card holder you have to have had it for 5 years before you can get social services.  You may not be racist, but you are naive if you think that, that has nothing to do with the hatred that is going on.  Look at your own people, the RICH ones, the corporations who are responsible for all this suffering that is going on.  You want to live in a land where the police can ask you for your papers then go ahead and do nothing.  Maybe you think that it is ok to go down a path where thing like what Hitler did is ok.  As for me this is my land too, my ancestors didn’t sale the  ocean blue, and this time we will fight back and maybe fight like the “whites” the English did.  Alex now the “brown” people, maybe next the yellow or black then maybe those with tattoos, come on Alex open up your eyes.  This fight is for the right of common man to work,
just like you and I.  Divide & Control that is what guides this country.

MY RESPONSE:

Well, I am not sorry for one thing I have said.  

Your rhetoric on this subject is not only uninformed, but off topic, as well. When people have no legitimate defense against a valid point or argument, i.e. Illegal Immigration, they always resort to a different subject. In this case, all of the history you have recited. The point I was attempting to make, which you so blatantly missed, was that of simply breaking the laws of this country….The United States of America. I will never understand why people come to this country, legally or illegally, and complain about our laws. You knew the law here on many topics, I assume, before you arrived. Who are you or any other immigrant to challenge the constitutionality of America? Have you ever been to Washington D.C.? Have you not read the constitution? The Bill of Rights? I don’t recall see any Juan’s or Jose’s on the signature page. You say it is because the “whites”, as you now refer to me, had “stolen” the land from the Mexicans.  

I refuse to debate the history of who won what war and who battled whom.  

The bottom line is that all of this happened in the past. None of us were even born. It has NOTHING to do with the Illegal Immigration problem we face today. Yet another issue you feel the need to bring up instead of trying to keep up with the current issues of today.   Your remarks on Bush and Cheney do not even deserve a response. Yet again, another departure from the issue at hand.  

These are the main reasons for the tremendous influx of illegal entry into the United States by the people of Mexico:   Poverty, joblessness, poor judicial conditions, the lack of true democracy, guilty until proven innocent, (the opposite of a democracy like the US or Canada.), and poor schools. The poor are treated worse than in the US, there is a lack of government benefits for the poor and housing is insufficient. There is pollution of the water, terrible violence, and crime.    Well, yea, I would want to leave too. But who’s fault is it that these condition exist? Not the United States. If America is such a God awful place that reeks of racism and bias toward immigration, then why are you here? There are approximately 196 countries in this world. If you do not like the laws here, you and all other legal and illegal immigrants, are free to choose another one and see how well your attitude is welcomed there.   I’ll even list them alphabetically for you, if you like.

My husband can walk up to any construction job site and see that every single person working is Mexican. They are undocumented and illegal. They will work for $5.00 less per hour than most skilled carpenters will and that is what General Contractor’s want…..invisible people. No Workman’s Comp or benefits….no one will go running to a lawyer if they are hurt on the job for fear of being deported. They make money only to be sent back to Mexico to help their struggling economy. All the while, it takes the food out of the mouths of my family. These are not jobs my husband or any other construction worker won’t do….they are jobs being taken away from hard working  American people. My husband IS the common man. He has the right to work and THAT is being stolen from him.  

This was nothing but a good old fashioned debate, but you made it personal when you referred to me and my family as “whites”…..MY own people….the RICH? Since when are MY people RICH? Last time I checked, I didn’t own any corporations. This “white” woman was just RICH enough when she was helping to feed your family when you needed the help. Us “white” people were just A OK to drive your grandchildren to and from school. You didn’t mind us “whites” then, did you? And what did I get?….Not even a phone call since….AND ESPECIALLY from you ungrateful daughter. What a slap in the face to me, my husband and the many others who helped your family when you needed us the most. You said we were “angels”…..I guess that was wrong, as angels are “white”.  

You talk about my hated toward Mexicans, yet all I hear from you is how the “whites” were so awful toward the people of Mexico. How could you possibly speak so vile about the “whites”? You married the whitest guy I have ever met. Bob plays Santa Claus every year for Christ’s sake.   

I guess this “white” woman is just another racist who refuses to sit on the sidelines and watch this country disintegrate in front of my eyes. Funny how I never once referred to you a “mexicans”. The last time I checked, the “brown” people have already revolted and America has already changed to accommodate them.   And the tattoo comment….really? You have nothing even remotely intelligent or intersting to say that I would even care to listen to.  

As for Divide and Control…..well, you can thank our new president for that.  

For myself, I should have never fallen for your “pity me” attitude….your false religion while you referred to me quietly behind my back as “whitey”. You seem quite capable of holding your own….and holding a job. You are not the person I thought you were. I don’t recognize the person I heard from today. You really have it down pat….I thought I was smarter than to fall for such a con artist.   That is the only thing I have learned from you.

Never trust anyone until they have earned it.    

    
Alex Vader
alx0320@yahoo.com

Don’t try to lecture me on how I know so much more now. About how you are glad I wrote what I did…why? So you could school me in a lame ass history lesson that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.   Illegal immigration.   Say it three times. I know it’s a tongue twister, but do your best to keep it apart from my new “learning experience”. It was so very kind of you to send this to all of my other friends.   Too bad you’re too little to late….you’re ignorance is on Facebook, MySpace and my personal blog.

www.alexandravader.wordpress.com

I am an American and I have papers to prove it. Where are yours?

This was an email sent to me from an acquaintance. My response is what follows.

From: alicia bobulinski <aliciabobulinski@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sun, April 25, 2010 10:51:04 PM
Subject: Show me your papers

Show me Your Papers

What has happened in Arizona is shameful. This is Not American! They have gone too far. We all know that with each new wave of “immigrants” there is almost a sense of “you have to pay your dues”. There is name calling and finger pointing and claims of this group this time will end America as we know it. This has not happened, we are still here we are stronger for having the previous immigrants be a part of us. This is the country of immigrants! Starting with the people who came here from England. The treatment of the Native Americans who were already here is nothing we want to repeat.

This bill 1070 which the Governor signed is but of course “Racial Profiling”, how can it not! This is opening the door to a lot of potential human rights violations and potential violence. In Arizona, are the police going to stop a blue eye blonde hair person, and ask to see their papers? This act of what I can only call blatant racism, is not something that we, the people can just let slide by. We don’t want to go backwards, this is not working towards the good of mankind.

If our government knew that we would have this influx of immigrants coming here, if our government was somehow in part responsible for driving out the people from their homes their countries, forcing them to go where they can find work to merely survive. If our government allowed to have institutions “prisons” built to house entire families, would we not then have a moral responsibility to do what we can to come up with a Fair Comprehensive Immigration Reform, now not later.

I do believe in the people of America, I do believe that most of us are kind people, only wanting to be allowed to work and take care of our families. We deserve to know truth, we deserve to not be led down a road that other countries have shown us to be wrong. What Hitler did was wrong, what Stalin did was wrong, what Idi Amin did was wrong, what the Governor of Arizona has done is wrong. Unlike the latter we in the land of the free and the land of the brave can and must stop this apparent hatred that some are trying to spread. We do not and can not go down a road where a massive amount of people will be hurt. We are much better than that, we do not yet live in the land of fear. If ever there were a time when the peaceful people need to stand up I believe this is the time.

Alicia Fernandez Bobulinski
Director Outreach Programs
Making a Difference Foundation, Inc.
757-375-8195

I am an American and I have papers to prove it. Where are yours?

Let’s start with the immigrants from England. They came here willingly and legally. They WANTED to learn our language and we were more than happy to help them. My grandparents immigrated from Italy…..a poor country with no prospects….they came here in the hopes of having a better life. They did, but they did it a completely different way. They wanted to work with us. They wanted to pay taxes and learn the English language. They knew that this was America. The home of the free and the brave….a land of opportunity….NOT the land of come on over and create a sub-culture that prevents many people from doing day to day business.

Go down to Miami in the Latino community and see what has happened. Go to the Orlando Latino community and see the same. It is as if no one cares that this IS a free nation. Free to work, learn the language and pay taxes, just as every other American. When I walked into a Miami drug store to pick up a Western Union one day I could not understand one word anyone was saying. Not one person spoke English and they laughed in my face because I didn’t. They mocked me because I was unable to convey to them what I needed. It wasn’t until one woman took pity on me and translated what I needed. What does that say for all the people who come to America from other countries who “just want to make a living?!?” It spits in the very face of our democratic culture. I would never dream of going over to Germany, demand that they learn English on my behalf with the audacity of crossing the border there illegally.

What part of illegal does no one understand?

It is not The United States’ fault that Mexico is a poor country. It is not The United States’ fault that people keep crossing our borders illegally….we just do not have the man power to stop the insanity of it all. Why does The United States have to be the “bad guy” when all we are doing is asking people to obey the law? Why does The United States feel the need and pressure to assimilate to the latino culture? I would love to go over to Mexico and have the automated phone operator say, “Press Uno for Espanol, Press Dos for English” It will NEVER happen. Why? Because other countries would never dream of changing their entire infrastructure to accommodate people who break the law.

If I break the law, I expect to be help accountable for what I have done. If people immigrant into our country illegally, we make sure they are given food, clothing, shelter, education all on top of changing our entire way of life.

While I do not agree with the decision of the Arizona governor, I do believe that too many legal Americans have sat idelly by, afraid to speak their minds for fear of retaliation from the Latino community. I am sick of sitting by and just keeping my mouth shut because some people will call me a racist or politically incorrect. Quite frankly, I could give a shit. I have worked since I was 15 years old in America and I am tired of seeing the United States of America bend over and take it in the ass. Congress, The Senate, The President and every single governing body in America need to stop allowing the demands of the Latino community dictate the rest of our nation’s way of living.

Everyone who has the desire to better their life had better learn to obey the law. The law is….if you want to live in the land of the free and the brave, you better be prepared to abide by our laws.

The 1st one being to come here legally.

Alex Vader
100% American, Born in Washington D.C.!
alx0320@yahoo.com

Twas’ the Night Before Christmas….

It happened last night. It was inevitable. I knew it was coming, like murky grey clouds hanging over my house….the electric smell of a storm brewing. I had avoided it for almost a year. I kept thinking to myself….just one more year, a little more time, I am just not ready yet. We were sitting outside on the balcony. I inhaled a long drag off of my P-Funk and blew it away from him, as always when he would come out with me. The smoke just hung in the air like those cartoon bubbles above characters heads….just waiting for the silence to break. Then he asked….

“Mom….is Santa Claus real?”

I stopped breathing for a second or five…all possible answers flew through my head like a swarm of locusts on a crop.

“What do your friends say about it?”, I questioned back quicker than I thought.

“They said he isn’t real…that your parents do everything…so do all the kids in my class.”, he responded. He was matter of fact. Just as if he were telling me what time it was.

“What do you believe?”, I quietly said.

“I think he’s real.”…..And there it was. The answer I didn’t want to hear. He is going to be nine years old in exactly one month. I found out when I was about seven or so. Now what? I was so happy I squeaked by last year with answers like, “Do you think I want to stay up all night and put presents together?”….”Why would you think I would do all of that…I’m tired.” I refer to myself in the singular only because in the past eight years there had not been one Christmas Eve where Ted had been awake long enough to do it all. I was Santa all these years.

Jake is extremely mature for an eight year old. People don’t give him enough credit for how smart he is or for how much of the real world he does understand. He’s in third grade, reading at a fifth grade level….and a math genius. How do you lie to a genius?

So I did the dirty deed.

I explained it all. Santa…St. Nicholas…why people created the fantasy of such a person. A person with incredible influence and power over children. How does a child get over the fact that it is all a lie?

A lie is something you tell someone to hurt them. A lie is meant to be cruel….the fantasy of Santa is not a lie….it is a way of making children understand the concept of giving. It helps them to understand how to treat one another….how lucky we are and how unfortunate others may be. It is the reason we feed the hungry, house the homeless and drop our change and dollars into those red buckets every year outside of Wal-Mart.

He wasn’t upset. He wasn’t sad. He asked one question. “Well, if Santa and Mrs. Claus aren’t real, then who I was talking to on the phone last year wasn’t real?”

Ummm…yea….here we go…..

“Well, they were real people, just not Santa and Mrs. Claus.”, I answered.

“Then who were they?”, he asked.

“Your aunt and uncle.”, I said timidly.

“So, they lied to me.”, he responded…so quickly and with a shred of anger.

I proceeded to explain how it wasn’t really considered a lie, as it was not meant to hurt him in any way. It was merely meant to keep up with the illusion of the Santa myth. (I didn’t say that part ver batim….I skirted around that one as much as possible). At this moment,  Ted came in from walking the dog. I proceeded to tell him the entire story. He didn’t react as I expected. He was extremely angry that I didn’t “consult” him before telling Jake the truth about Santa. Really?

I mean fucking REALLY?

Three months ago Jake asked the sex question. I “consulted” him on that one and he proceeded to simply say….”Oh no, you got this one.” and threw his hands in the air. So I took it and with the maturity that Jake has, he handled it just fine, matter of fact, not really even surprised at all. He just said, “Oh, ok”, and shrugged his shoulders.

Ted was so enraged about this life altering decision I had made that he went on and on for over an hour. I defended myself, Jake told him to knock it off…that he was just fine and to “get over it”, which I found completely hysterical.

After Jake fell asleep and Owen was bathed and finally in la-la land too, I proceeded to give Ted the silent treatment. For someone who says that I talk too much and to leave him alone during an argument, he cannot stand the silent treatment. It kills him. He tries any and everything to get me to give him some sort of response…none of it worked.

About 11:00 PM, Ted got up to go to bed. I simply said, “Ted, if it will make you feel better, I’ll give you the Easter Bunny and the fucking Tooth Fairy…..ok?”

 

 

Quote for Today

Charles Schulz:

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?

 

Charlie Brown Halloween

http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_happiness.html

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Daniel Pearl

I just finished watching A Mighty Heart. This is the film accounting the life and death of Wall Street Journalist Daniel Pearl. It was horrifying and emotional.  I did not realize how affected I would become by this film.

The ending indicated that the person responsible for his actual beheading was Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. It also stated that he is currenting residing at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. I did some research and found this to be true.

This is what really has me scared for our country:

Our government wants to close Gitmo. We are talking about terrorists. They are in Gitmo for a reason…they are the worst or the worst. Charles Manson and Ted Bundy were not sent there. They chose their victims. Terrorists have absolutely zero sanctity for human life. They don’t care who you are, what you do or if you’re a child…they just kill. That’s why they are in fucking Cuba! Where are all these assholes going to go?

Everyone so easily forgets the innocent people who were so brutally murdered by these terrorists…and people are crying about waterboarding them? If waterboarding a terrorist will provide vital information to stop future attacks…then let it be done. Terrorists are trained to sustain a huge amount of torture. Why? Because they know exactly what they would do to someone in their captivity and assume the same may be done to them if captured. Don’t even think for one minute that people held by these terrorists are treated with any regard for humanity. Torture is their masterpiece….and they have painted with the blood of innocent people…like Daniel Pearl.

Right now, I am ashamed of what a pussy America is becoming. A once feared power and force to reckoned with is now turning into a society of pacifists that would rather be known for 3 hots and a cot than getting down to the business of keeping our country safe.

I did not like much of anything that George W. Bush had done in his eight years as president. Buy I will give him the utmost respect for keeping me, my family and The United States of America safe after 9/11.

What the hell has gone so wrong so very fast?

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1545441,00.html

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/04/28/despite-reports-khalid-sheikh-mohammed-waterboarded-times/

http://dir.salon.com/story/opinion/feature/2003/10/22/pearl/index1.html

Awesome Video!

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1137883380?bctid=21337502001

 

In rememberance of all those who have given the ultimate sacrifice…9/11/2001

To live in hearts we leave behind….. Is not to die.

~Thomas Campbell, “Hallowed Ground”

American Flag

Quote of The Day

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteA mature person is one who is does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably

 Eleanor Roosevelt

http://thinkexist.com/quotations/maturity/

robertbrian.wordpress.com/…/what-is-maturity/

* I got this list from a brother in Austin, Texas. It really caught my attention and caused me to really see if I was as mature as I thought. Showed me that I still had a lot of things to work on in my personal life.

Are you Mature?

*Facing the truth honestly.
*Looking beyond personal comfort and gratification to the greater good.
*Dealing with change without falling apart.
*Working hard and completing a job; whether supervised or not.
*Keeping the stresses and worries of life from taking control.
*Doing the right thing regardless of what others say and do.
*Finding more joy in giving than receiving.
*Bearing an injustice without having to get even.
*Relating to others in a consistently positive and helpful manner.
*Being a person of your word.
*Demonstrating respect.
*Showing love in both word and deed.
*Learning to be content based upon internal attitudes rather than external circumstance.

How you match up?

maturity

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