Jet To No Where

Help me find out if I am on a Jet To No where…or just on stand by.

Archive for the tag “demons”

inside

Lonely

Tones and Tinkles and Twinkles vibrated and she heard the most stunning combination of hurt and sorrow and grief and longing and wanting and craving and feverish aching….so hard to concentrate on anything else but tiny nuances and shades of splendor that were adored by so many, yet unappreciated by enough to feel badly…..and she felt alone in a crowded room of friends and family with no familiarity to accompany the wounded soul blackened and scorched from years of asking inside……

why?

how?

was it ever possible to be as superficial as the people surrounding her every single grueling day….days that even the warmest sun had dark clouds engulfing her mind and body and soul. and all that she thought meant nothing and all she yearned for was mistaken for fleeting thoughts of her scattered brain and unfinished projects and fresh schemes, as she never spoke of the meaning of emotion that burst from all the stories and art and music and picture and movies…..

because she knew in the pits of where no one ever lets anyone in…in the deepest abyss that no one ever sees …in minuscule crevices that no one knows exist because she knows no one would have the same infatuation and anticipation for these things she loves so….. she hides….

and because she does hide….in the open….where everyone may see the joy of a day, but never the nightmarish loneliness she feels every evening and late, late night that keeps her awake with sorrow and hatred for all who surround her and care for her and love her and yet no one really knows her soul…and no one ever knows the pain and longing for connections had for fleeting moments in time….that will never be once again….that will never compare to today….

the brightest, sunniest day there ever could be…. starts all over again.

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She

There were no words ever created by man to describe the hole

Not sadness, nor sorrow, Not heartache, nor hopelessness

Not anguish, Not bleakness, Not grief, nor even woe

Surrounded by people, yet no one heard, no one listened

No One Noticed how desolate it had become, so scorched that

there was no sensation of pain, no consciousness of ache

And even all attempts to speak went right through all thoughtlessness

that the world had become.

A deep empty well with a shredded rope just beyond grasp

Sitting mindlessly watching moving pictures in tubes and thinking of

All that was wanted, just for a moment to be considered

And each night grew longer without the sweet comfort of sleep or rest

which inside grew weary and indifferent.

No pill, nor drink would bring it closer, but only sheer exhaustion

Then collapsing into a blank solitude, longing for a fantasy to escape.

Screaming inside a deserted body, which had grown almost narcoleptic

and neglected to the degree of the simplest of tasks which made a stoic,

Sometimes callous exterior.

Saved so many times before, but no understanding of why and a single night

turned into years in which the acceptance of fate took root.

Inside a blackened room with no doors, no windows, Only 

the sound of hanging lights creaking above and the trace of rust in the air

All while walking over shards of broken bulbs that used to illuminate

Her.

Quote of The Day:

“Family, religion, friends.. these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”
Monty Burns

Demons….
It is the saddest day of one’s life when one decides to severe ties with family……
But some things will never change and you have to change in order to move forward.

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